A Few Handpicked Letters #1
Dear Reader,
I am at that phase. Again. Searching Google for ‘How to reduce lethargy’, ‘5 minute Core Exercises’, and ‘Easy to Cook, Healthy recipes’. Searching Spotify for Happiness and Motivation podcasts and music. I am back on a Self-development drive after months of lows, existential crisis, lethargy, and unhealthy eating habits! I do not know how long it is going to last, but it feels good. Because, as you can see, I am embarking upon this exciting journey of words and newsletters.
It has been twelve years since I started blogging, and about 4 years since I almost stopped it. But the itch to write has been there at the back of my head. I was not ready to give it up. Somewhere during my blogging journey, I wanted to send out newsletters too. But I never got to it because of one simple reason – I may not stick to writing or send out Newsletters frequently. Consistency was never my wing-woman. As the years passed, I have been in a rut. The fear of not writing frequently has resulted in not writing at all.
Funnily enough, this has been the case with everything. I stopped singing because; if I started, I wouldn’t sing frequently. I stopped creating art because I won’t be able to keep at it and so on. So, over the last few months, I was doing absolutely nothing! Just Netflix and No chill because I was not liking this version of myself. I would watch a web series while my mind would whisper, ‘You haven’t done anything productive today’. So I would crank up the volume, drown my own voice, watch the series until I pass out at 2 am, only to wake up at 9 am to rush to work.
“I may not stick to doing what I am doing and so, I don’t begin them.”, I told my therapist the other day.
She asked me, “But why do you want to stick to those things? Why are you doing them in the first place? Why do you exercise?”
“Because I feel good after I am done. My mind is fresh and my brain is faster. I handle ten things a day as opposed to the five things on the other days.”
“Alright. So, tell yourself that! When the voice in your head tells you that you may not stick to it, tell the voice that it is about feeling good on that day and nothing else. So even if you skip a day, it would not matter.”
And so, I have been trying to change the narrative in my head. It is difficult. Sometimes, the old ways of thought seep in, but I somehow manage to get hold of them and I change them. Which is what has brought me to my laptop today, for writing, after a long long time. And this feels good! I am loving the process and I am not wondering whether there will be another issue of this Newsletter.
As my first Newsletter comes to an end, I hope that it inspired you. If it did, please do share it with someone you love. If there is something you would like to share or add to this, you can reply to this.