A Few Handpicked Letters #11

On Making New Friends, Some Goofy Pictures, Learning to Cope With Plans that Change

Dear Reader,

It is a beautiful June morning. I hope you have been well. I hope you have been living a little slow. I have so much to tell you. Fair warning. The second half of May was so exciting that this letter could end up being loooong. Do you perhaps want to brew yourself a cup of coffee, or tea before you read this?

I have never been the kind of person that initiates friendship or gets in touch with friends frequently. I do respond to their communications. But I have had very little mind-space for people because of which, I have a small circle of friends who understand this about me. A shift in my perspective occurred, when I came across the video of Jane Fonda talking about making friends when you are older. She says that you need to pursue people you want to be friends with, and you need to tell them, that you are intentionally wanting to be their friend. If you haven’t watched it, here it is:

This struck a chord with me. Since I have moved back to my hometown where most of my old friends have moved abroad, it was the perfect time to learn friend-making skills. Around this time, I was already doing some difficult things as an experiment on myself. So I added this to the list, contacted a couple of people I knew through Instagram, and told them that I wanted to meet them. It was a difficult thing to do, as I am awkward with phone calls, and at social settings. I had to push myself every step of the way, but I did it!

The two people I met; one at their home, one at a cafe, were kind and it was easy being around them. I enjoyed their company and while I am not sure about them, they did say that, ‘We should do this again!’. So yay me! 100 points for Hufflepuff!

What kind of a friend are you? The pursuer or the pursuee or someone else? Would you want to change this aspect about yourself, or your friends? Do you have anything to tell them? Or me?

***

The Friday before the last, I got a call from my friends from Bangalore, around midnight. They had planned an impromptu trip to Kerala, to Palakkad, and wanted me to join them. If you don’t know, I am at Kochi. After much deliberation, I decided to go. Kochi has been sucking the blood out of us in this sweltering heat, but Palakkad has been burning. That apparently didn’t stop any of us. A friend warmly opened his home to us, his parents embraced us, and we picked mangos, hunted coconuts and hacked at jackfruits. You can find a lot of silly photos, one silly video and the story of our weekend trip in the caption below.

A Few Handpicked Things | Ranjini S

A Few Handpicked Things | Ranjini S on Instagram: “Weekend photo dump - 21.05.2023 from our trip to Prathew’s home in Palakkad. To make it clear, if ‘Prathew’s home’ sounds like a homestay, it is not. It is a friend’s home. 😬 When my friends called me up the night before, I had no idea what was planned. I was skeptical about going to Palakkad of all places during the peak of summer. I wasn’t wrong. It was brain meltingly hot, but it was so so worth it. The highlights of this trip had to go on my Instagram wall of fame 🧱
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. 1. When trees throw mangoes at you, you eat them. Also, I like picking fallen flowers and preserving them. So I saved 2 behind my ears which I lost while guarding the coconut thieves (keep reading. You’ll know.).
2. We went in search of ice apples. @ankit_thakre33 was hopeful about the fallen ones. But they had turned into ghosts. The unfallen ones were far up in the sky. By the time we crossed the field back, we became ghosts too. Hahahailostmyphonehahahathenfounditlyingonthefieldhotanddeadhaha
3. We were leaving for home. I have a Jasmine plant behind me, in my bag. You don’t visit houses and not take plants home. Then there is an Ankit further behind. You can ignore him.
4. Prathew and @kuruphari carrying the weekend’s loot all the way to Bangalore. My loot, I slyly hid in my bag 🫢
5. The ring I fashioned out of Rice grass. I have always believed that I have a great future in jewelry fashioning field. We sang Bhima ad song to complement the event. When it got over, we sang Jayalakshmi silks song. Because, why not!?
6. Somebody cracked a joke. We laughed. My candid laugh pose is funny. I know. 7. Prathew’s Amma who gave us so much food, and Achan who told us so many stories and the home that gave us so much love ❤️. @rajprathew, who had the guts to invite us to his home 💪, and us 💩.
8. Ankit - Wannabe Candid, looking far away photo in the woods. 9. Home from another angle 🌻
10. Coconut stealing-guarding-roleplay-vlogging video .
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#palakkad #keralatourism #palghat #palakkadgram #mangofarm #mangoseason #exploringpalakkad #happinessisnature #lovefornature #homesweethome #homeinkerala #malayali #kochikkari #palakkadthings”

May 26, 2023

Speaking of Instagram, I have a crazy-happy news! I have been posting a lot lately and one of my reels I posted, about the Vypin Lighthouse, happened to blow up! Just when I was considering reducing the use of social media :D

I have often looked at influencers with so many views and followers and wondered how they got there. I have watched product brands grow, but not normal people. So this was a huge shock for me seeing something like this happen. It was scary too, like there was a sudden pressure to put up videos that are perfect. I fear losing this experimental mentality, the authenticity that I try to bring into my posts, this refusal to stick to a niche and most importantly how I enjoy planning and making them. I know that this was just one reel and that soon it would die out. But it is a brand new, crazy experience that I thought I should share with you.

***

This past weekend, I had planned a lunch and an evening out with my Mother. It was supposed to be a brand new experience for her. But she decided to take up a load of house work and got started on those. So I cancelled lunch plans and ordered in. So she took more work upon herself, ended up looking super tired and I cancelled our evening plans too.

This upset me. I have been meditating on and off for some years, listening and writing affirmations and one thought that stays with me is this. If your day doesn’t go as planned, you need to make your plans around the day, as it progresses. I decided to try this out. I offered to take her out on a drive, with zero plans. Just a drive. She was excited about that and wanted to go to Decathlon. Also, *Drumrolls* that would be the first time she would be watching me drive! So we just did that.

She fastened her seat belt, held onto her dear life while I maneuvered through the messy Ernakulam traffic, annoying people. We purchased some raincoats and shoes for an upcoming, mother and daughter trip, and came home happy. She was proud of her daughter who didn’t run over people on the streets *Happy tears*. On a serious note, I drive well ya! Well for a beginner, of course! I am so proud! And happy! That is one very important thing checked off my bucket list! Whew!

Just us trying raincoats in the trial room. Don’t ask me why! :D

Now let me give you some June updates. I am still working on my poetry book, and preparing to join a pottery class! I am super excited about this. There is also one more personal happy news happening in June which I cannot reveal now. But I should be able to share it with you in my next letter.

Before I take your leave, here are some videos and resources that I thought were beautiful that everybody could use in their lives:

1. This video about creative living is based on a quote by the ‘Eat Pray Love’ Author Elizabeth Gilbert. It is applicable to everyone because according to her, ‘If you are alive, you are a creative person’.

2. This is a video whose caption written by Tinku Johnson says,

   “Are you in Love? Then you most mandatorily must celebrate it, enjoy it!”

   “Is it mandatory?”

   “Yes. It is most certainly mandatory.”

3. Sitting With The Everyday - Pause for Perspective, a Mental Health Community, and I - we are hosting a mindfulness practice in June 2023. The intent is to sit with yourself everyday for a short period of time, observe, yourself, your surroundings or your emotions and engage with them by drawing, writing, creating comics, poetry, making videos etc. You can go through their pinned posts and the latest video for details, or ping me if you have any doubts.

Here is a calming forest path that I clicked during my Palakkad trip

Wish you a beautiful, slow, happy, green June as green as the picture above. As always, this is a two way communication. Do let me know what you thought as you read my letter. If it brought warmth to you, please share it with your friends too. I would love it if more people had access to my letters.

Sending you lots of Love,

Ranjini