Dear Reader,
I wrote my first newsletter a month ago and I was determined to write one every week. I remembered to write too. But it got hectic in a way that it never had been in a long time. It was good. I was busy living.
The last month has been the happiest one for me in a long time. The most important reason is that my baby sister has been here. She works in the US and she came home after two long years. For those of you who don’t know, we pride ourselves for being the bestest sisters in the whole world. We are 9 years apart and we are a bit of everything; a mother daughter duo, best friends and sometimes she becomes the older sister to me too. It is beautiful bond. So while she was here, I tried to soak up as much sunshine from her as possible.
It is true when they say that being the older sibling takes a toll on you because you have to figure out a lot of things on your own while your parents are figuring out parenting for the first time. In a not so perfect household, it gets a little too difficult. Soon you have the responsibility of another human as well and suddenly, you are grown up a little too soon.
A lot of pent up issues have been seeping out from inside of me during the past few years and I have been trying to address them, understand myself and treat myself better during the last few months. I realised that, over the years, I became someone fueled by anxiety and poisoned by it. I am always thinking of the things I haven’t gotten to doing, the person I haven’t become, that I don’t pay attention to the things I am doing, the person I am becoming. But I am working on that. That is why I couldn’t get to my second newsletter until now. I wanted to live those beautiful days first. Documenting them could come later.
Do any of this make sense to you? Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that is going through things like this; abstract, unexplainable, small but extremely complicated emotions and situations. At the end of the day, all I have been doing is sitting or sleeping, but I feel tired. Tired from a world that is moving so fast.
When things get overwhelming, I practice grounding. It is a very common practice that I learnt recently. You need to find and name:
5 things you can see around you; it could be your laptop, your table, or your hand.
4 things you can touch; same as above or some more.
3 sounds that you can hear; the fan, a bird, a vehicle, someone talking, or music.
2 things you can smell; the room, a food item near you, or room freshener.
1 thing you taste; the taste of coffee in your mouth, or a food item next to you.
This practice helps you get back to the present especially if you are having a panic attack. It has been helping me immensely. When I say immensely, I don’t mean that it instantly makes me feel good, but it takes my mind off what is overwhelming me. And when I make this a practice, I am able to handle my anxiety a little easier each time it shows up.
It is a simple practice, but remembering to do it repeatedly at the right time helps a lot. Because every time you do it, you are bringing a shift in your mindset and that is what we are all striving for!
My sister will be leaving tomorrow. Though I am sad, I am trying to not let it affect me. Because,
Dear Mind, right now, let us rejoice that she is here and that we can spend as much time with her as possible. Once she leaves, we will see.
I am ending this letter for now. I didn’t want to include details of our vacation here and make it lengthier. But I leave this picture from our trip to Goa. Among the gazillion churches there, this one caught my eye. I couldn’t find anything regarding this on google. It just said ‘Chapel’ and it looks like it’s from a story book. Let me know what you think of it and about today’s letter. You just have to reply to the mail :)
Until next time.
t