A Few Handpicked Letters #4
The Drama Called 2022/ The New Year Goals/ Art of Survival During Difficult Times
Hello Lovely People,
It is 2023 ✨. Another opportunity to start afresh. This year, I hope you make some time to sit with yourself, breath, notice your surroundings and ask yourself to slow down more often.
2022 was one of the most difficult years of my life. My family and I went through so many health issues, multiple accidents, I went on an all time low mentally as along with this, my job got synonymous to harassment. I would come home every night without an ounce of energy left. I cried way too often. I had panic attacks and had this drowning feeling. I stopped creating, I stopped communicating with my friends and the negative self talk got too much! When it got extremely hard, I decided to quit my job and take a break for about 2 months and travel. It was the most difficult decision I ever made.
I am into my second month of sabbatical. I travelled to Himachal Pradesh in November, took my parents to Banaras/Varanasi in December, I have been reading more frequently. I go for my walks almost every day. I feel calmer now that I don’t have people micro managing me, making me feel like I am not enough, making me question my dignity. I feel more fulfilled now that I can write/create whenever I want. Fear, anxiety about future, reality of not having a job hits me once in a while and I try to use techniques I learnt from therapy and experience to deflect them.
You just read two paragraphs of extreme emotions that I went through during 2022; proof that Instagram is not a looking glass into our lives. But everything turned out fine. I even made a note of 11 Memories from 2022.
Since I have been given the gift of time, I have been working on my resolutions and goal for 2023. I wrote a blog post on how we can use New Year’s time to set intentions and make resolutions. We have been approaching Resolutions in half baked manner all these years. The post talks about rewiring our approach towards habit building by being kind to ourselves and reasoning with our minds. I wrote it after testing it for about 5 years. I assure you there is something for everyone in there. Do read and let me know what you think.
But if you are someone who is currently focusing on surviving, who only has the mindspace to stay afloat, skip the above link and please read further.
I have been at that point in my life when survival was my sole aim. There were days when I couldn't get out of my bed and feel even neutral, leave alone good, about the morning, the day or a new month. During this period, I only did the bare minimum to keep me afloat; not answering calls or messages, Netflixing, ordering comfort food, crying, ranting to a friend, crawling to my job, taking way too many bathroom breaks because it kept me sane, sleeping, reading... it is alright if you are currently in that mind space. Many of us go through it. You just had to go through it during the New Year's time and it could be particularly hard seeing all the hopeful posts and listicles with 22 things from 2022.
Had I been in that mindspace now, I wouldn't be able to write anything like this. I would vanish from Instagram, go into zero activity mode like I have done before. I have been in my own low and I have tried, when I could, to just feed myself minimal warmth. I never pushed myself just because it was a special occasion (like New Year’s Day). You don't have to either. Seek help. Feed your inner child, hold them, cuddle them, talk to yourself kindly, and when you both are ready, one fine day you may gradually take a 5 minute walk, just to test the waters. Hibernate as much as you want, keep yourself hydrated and remind yourself that one day you will come out of this. If that is on January 22nd, you can start your New Year's high then. The only rules there are, are the ones you set for yourself.
Thanks for reading until here. I will leave you with this little find from 2022 that I absolutely loved, and that helped me with my walking routine.
Walking is fitness is a 10 minute daily podcast where Dave Paul invites you to walk with him. That is it. You can pick up a habit of walking everyday for 10 minutes while listening to his insightful, action oriented, story like tips on walking. I now walk 5 Kms every day, thanks to this podcast. He also gives tips that we could use in other areas of our lives too. You should check it out and let me know if it grows on you.
Until next time,
Tiiiiiight hugs,
Ranjini